I am slowly coming to terms with my demise. I am finding the saddest part is leaving my darling Peter,not seeing his face every day is something that troubles my soul. Also the thought of not being able to be here and experience the joy of seeing Mallory's baby grow up and go through the normal cycles of life is something that blackens my heart. I will also miss my beautiful Anna and sweetest Jaclyn, though they havent been in my life for many years nothing has been able to tear them from my heart, i miss them everday and wish that I had been able to share some of my last years with them. Watching them grow into the wonderful strong women and loving mothers that i know they have.

I will also miss my internet friends, some wonderful ladies whom have filled my heart with joy and love. I feel that I have never been able to repay them for their love and caring. They all make me feel so inadequate as a friend, many times I have not participated in group events for fear of letting someone down.

I will miss the smiles and wet nose that Willow greets me with every morning, we have shared many a biscuit and cheese and coffee on the back steps in the mornings. She seemed to sence my impending disease as each morning she seemed to get more and more gentle with me, I do miss her jump to my knees for a cuddle each day.

At this stage all I can do is live each day as it comes, wishing to spend many more on this wonderful, awe inspiring planet we call earth. Its strange how we do not notice beauty in front of us until we are threatened with its removal.
I will fight to the end, i will not go peacefully into the night (god, i love that movie) and i will spend every breathe loving my family and friends.